Never got back online yesterday. The flu vaccine shortage is hitting home. I took Grandpa (turning 84 in Dec) for his flu shot yesterday, and after waiting on line for a couple hours, we were told they were all out. My 8 month old son needs the vaccine too, and though we were told the shortage doesn't affect babies, our pediatrician has pushed back the date he's expecting to get it from the 15th to the end of the month (or maybe early next month). Maybe the entire country will be wearing Hello Kitty SARS masks this winter.

As for trading, I'm on my mandatory middle of the day "clear my head" break. The past couple morning were atrocious for me. I was 0-3, -$160 + comm on Monday. Had another bad 1st hour yesterday (0-3, -$140 + comm). Hate digging a hole like that. However, after my midday break yesterday, I finally righted the ship and was able to watch the charts and get into a mini-zone of clarity and concentration. I reeled off 17 winners and 2 b/e's on both the ER and YM.

This morning, I pre-determined to sit on my hands for the 1st hour. There was a nice gap and crap pattern. CCI-wise, on the ER, there was a great shamu entrance to go short and an inverted ghost for some ticks on a bounce. My first stabs at the ER this morning (see chart above) were not pretty. The first arrow shows an attempted ZLR long. There is no ZLR there, but believe me, it was there when I hit the LONG button. Problems: 1) I didn't pay attention to the time left in the bar at all and got whipped by an intrabar wiggle, 2) the bline chart on the bottom was clearly moving down from extremes. Seven minutes later, I tried the ZLR long again. This was a more promising setup, taken at the end of the previous bar. The bline ribbons were starting to turn up. It didn't go anywhere, but I was able to get out at b/e. Only slap on the wrist I'd give myself for that one is that I didn't heed the Herrick Payoff Index which I have on the bottom, telling me we were rangebound & flat. So there's an example of two trades and paying for hard earned lessons again.

It's been tough to get on the bike again after a week off. I forgot that I have still training wheels on. I'm in desperate need of a better morning preparation scheme. I used to be most energetic at the open and very active. Now I find myself like death warmed over, unable to get anything done in the hour I'm up before the market open than get my charts up. I've got a workout bench and weights gathering dust next to me. I've got plants outside that are dying for lack of water. Coffee seems to have no effect on me anymore (besides moving my bowels). I'm basically mired in a mental quandry, trying to figure out if I'm trying too hard or not trying enough? Is this dread that I feel every morning? Or just the usual frustration that comes with this profession? Have I reached the bounds of paper trading or have I barely scratched the surface? I feel guilty for taking time off or having a good time, when I have no tangible results to show for my work. It's just all getting to the point of my thinking "isn't this too hard and difficult for something I supposedly love to do?"

Think I'll go walk the dog and water those dead plants.